HOWL 2.0

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I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by touch screens, streaming digital hackers, dragging themselves through the Web at dawn looking for a killer app ;-)

iPhone-headed Tweeters burning for a 5G connection to the blogosphere in the swamp of social media

Who blogging and phishing and backed up and spammed, sat up surfing in the backlit darkness of laptop cafes contemplating the Cloud,


Who got hacked by e-mails from a friend in London, stranded there with no money

Who got scammed about Nigeria and an prince’s fortune available in Lagos – send credit card info

Who checked and re-checked their e-mail but only learned how to enlarge their penises

Who paid high three figures for the latest iGadget, not caring what it did, it was just so cool

Who browsed old sitcoms on Youtube, ones that sucked back in the day – "Joanie Loves Chachi" -- and watched until they fell asleep

Who stored everything they’d ever written, photographed, or downloaded onto a 16GB flashdrive and then sent it through the full wash cycle

Cynical news junkies shooting up scandals from Drudge and Daily Kos


Who, drunk and despairing, Googled themselves to see if they still existed

Who posted photos on Instagram that no one shared

Who started a blog but forgot the username and password

Who changed username and password but forgot them again and spaced on the name of their first pet

Who scoured emptied attics on eBay but did not Buy It Now!

Who clicked “Hi, Check This!” expecting nude photos of Anna Kournikova and felt like asses when their laptops had to be taken to Geekworld

Who read on Wikipedia that LBJ killed JFK and almost believed it

Who posted moderate comments on Yahoo and got 357 responses calling them an “elite liberal  fuckhead!!!!”

Incompatible downloads of Apple iCloud (Not Responding) on screens crashing toward reboots of Control-alt-Delete & Start Task Manager

A mad infestation of malware and spyware infecting hard drives and demanding an upgrade, a firewall, another trip to Geekworld

Who driving to Geekworld heard NPR talk about Internet addiction and nodded 


Who were quoted a price equal to the Gross National Product of a small African country to debug, defrag, or go into safemode and wondered whether it was worth it

Who then spotted the new iMAC and couldn’t resist

 Who took it home and booted up …

Steve Jobs,

I'm with you in the Cloud where we clutch  iPhones under our sheets

I'm with you in the Cloud where we wake up and check our e-mail first thing

I'm with you in the Cloud where you become immortal for making us all stare into our palms for hours on end

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I'm with you in the Cloud where in my dreams you walk on the Info-highway across America to the doors of my perception in the dark, digital night.